Thinking about someone

You know, sometimes, there's just someone on your mind. And has been for some time. I'm sure all of you out there have had someone in your mind before. You think about him or her all the time, wondering what they are doing right then, whether they are enjoying what they are doing, and just wondering how nice it would be to be spending time with them right now.

It's even more "intense", if you like the person beyond just a mere friendship, and want to get to know the person better, or want to start dating the person. Now, that'll really put a "boost" into the "thinking". You'll spend most of your time thinking, pondering, wondering, about every little sort of thing that one can possibly think of about the other person. It's not too good a thing to be doing that, because you realise that life doesn't seem as bright just because the person ain't around you.

THAT, was once me. Not that I don't do that anymore, but just that I have tempered it. Or so I hope. I tend to overthink things quite a bit, and also think about the person a lot. I have to make a conscious decision to break away from that and concentrate on things at hand, and on the rest of life. But usually, when I have nothing too much to do, like this nice long holiday, my thoughts naturally flow back to thinking about the person. I'm just getting better at keeping my thoughts away from my work and not allowing that and my emotions to run rampant. Maybe that's part of the "emotional maturity" that comes with age.

For the past months, I have been praying and thinking whether I should in fact be trying to date the person. I want God to be part of any relationship I'm in, and I have made some errors in the past, just assuming that God will be there. It'll be so much easier if He'll just tell me, "Hey Tee Sing, this is my plan for you. Go get her!" or, "Tee Sing, no, she's not the right one for you." LOL. But God doesn't work that way, at least not for me.

It's human nature to want things to be easy. To just let the girl jump into your arms, or to let God tell you immediately what to do. But more often than not, it's the case of waiting and trusting that the Lord has your best interest at heart. That is not an easy thing for me to do. Being an impatient guy, I want things fast, just so that I can get on with the rest of life. Which is kinda paradoxical, because the act of getting to know the girl, thinking about her, growing and trusting in the Lord, are all part of life. Where am I supposed to be rushing to once I'm done?

I'm 24. Turning 25 this 2007. That puts me on the "young adult" scale still. Despite what friends tell me that I look 27 or older, I'm still only 24, turning 25. Patience is a virtue that I hope I pick up soon. Because, it'll be one of the most important things I need in pretty much everything I'll do later on. Patience with my family, with work, with God (when waiting for His instructions), with a girl, everything.

So just a prayer to start the day and the year with. "May God my Lord grant me the patience in life to wait for Your commands, the patience to serve my family, the patience to wait for a girl, and the patience to enjoy the life given and blessed by You. Amen."