Amazing Fourth of July cont. and the Subject of FEAR

Hmmm, so I got up today, with my right ankle and left elbow hurting badly. I twisted my ankle and hit my elbow on the water skis when I fell off them yesterday. Although it hurts to walk, and I'm limping a little, it's cool what a little pain can do for you. It's like, "Hey, you're alive, and you're actually hurting because you went out of your way to do something cool and dangerous. That's living a good life!" Maybe I'm a masochist, but I do believe in SOME pain in life making things way more interesting.

The weekend was amazing, if that isn't obvious in the title. Up in Arrowhead Lake, not a cloud in the sky, sunny all day long. We were out in the boat a lot, either waterskiing, or touring the lake, or just going to the village. We would wake up at 6.30am, go waterskiing for a few hours, get back and have breakfast, then go back to bed for a while. We'll then go out hiking or to the village and just hang out before cooking a sumptuous dinner. It's a private lake, so all the boats there belong to people who are living there. There's a small village with lots of cute shops and fun stuff to do. I bought shoes there, coz I needed some. The nights were beautiful too, with all the stars out, and man, were there a LOT of stars!

It's a great way to end my time here. It was relaxing, I took a lot of time off to think about what my life is going to be like and how I want to strive towards how I want my life to be. Seeing Andrew's family was also wonderful, because his family is so close and loving and the parents joking with their children, and seeing the love in the family. Not that I don't know that my parents love my sisters and I a lot, but there is just a lot of tension in the family. I want to build my own family to be loving and caring just the way Andrew's family and Danny's family has shown me. I think in some ways, that's even more important than having the best career or making the most money. Oh, and Andrew's father has the same birthday as I do, which is really surprising too! Another proud Leo who strives hard and lives life with a passion.

FEAR

Other than that, it's great always being able to do new things. I didn't expect to waterski, and I was a little afraid too. I failed miserably wakeboarding and the water rushing into my nose, ears and mouth isn't the most pleasant feeling either. I'm always slightly afraid of new things. New classes, new dangerous activities, new places, new people. But I think I recognize how this fear manifests itself in me, and I can actively combat it. I take everything I fear as a challenge. It's not that I don't panic though. I panicked swimming in the lake, when I was really tired and really far away from the boat. No matter how hard I tried to calm myself, I keep wanting to struggle and paddle harder to get to the boat, which will probably have drowned me. Luckily, Vicky (Andrew's sister) was around and swam beside me, calming me down. Fear is an amazing feeling. It hits you and you don't know what to do, panick and start doing crazy things you wouldn't necessarily do. Mastering your fear takes a lot of effort, and being able to control it to an extent, pushes your comfort zone out, and makes you a more courageous person. I do think I'm brave, but often it's my pride that takes me along, not wanting to fail. I also think of fearing something as a challenge. It means that I have to concentrate on overcoming the fear with my mind.

I want to feel fear. It signals that I'm outside my comfort zone and gives me a chance to do something I wouldn't otherwise do. Bring it on and may I also face my fears with courage.