Back again

Was talking to an old friend today online. She mentioned that she stumbled across my blog, and encouraged me to keep writing. I usually read her stuff on her Facebook, which is very thought provoking and deep, bringing an added dimension which one probably won't realise just by talking casually to her. Well, she's an old friend, but we still don't know each other well, since it has been 17 years since we last met, and somehow, God brought a bunch of us primary school friends back together again. And it has been good, to see these friends outside of my usual circle of friends have been doing, and that everyone is living their life to the best of their abilities.

Anyway, after being encouraged to write again, I'm here, sitting at my comp, penning down thoughts which I haven't put into writing for over a year. It's 2009 and that's a long long time from when I last wrote. I read that blog, and realised just how long it has been, and how much my life has progressed since then.

• Friends which I knew then and hung out with, I hardly meet them now.
  
• Friends which I now hang out with, I didn't even know them then.
• Activities which I was keen on then (frisbee), I don't really do now.
• I was still in the army then, now I'm serving out my bond with the government.
  
• Teaching in children's church now, which I didn't even think I would do then.
• Having a girlfriend now, which I haven't even met her then, as I was thinking of another girl.
  

So where goes all this? I lied when I told my friend the reason I haven't been writing was that life was the same, Singapore was the same, that I've been bored and that my writings were going in circles. I think the main reason why I haven't been writing is coz I got lazy, and ill-disciplined. The other main reason is that my life is filled with SO SO much, that I barely sit down to think things through, because I'm so caught up with living it, enjoying it, craving for it, that I'm not used to sitting down to savour it anymore.

I'm making more friends that I have time for, making me meet up with a bunch of them at a time, from different places, eras and activities, many of them not knowing each other. (Sometimes, I feel like a walking SDU. Serious! But if you're my friend and reading this, please don't think I'm trying to set you up!) I'm trying to play computer games, read, chat online, doing a hundred things at a time, so that I can complete and enjoy all of them. I'm impatient when I'm doing something fun, as I'm looking forward to the next fun thing happening in a few hours. My attention span is getting shorter and shorter. While I could focus on one thing at a time for hours when I was younger, now, I get antsy after 15 minutes. I feel that I'm living life in fast forward.

(I'm surprised by the number of "I"s in this post. It seems very self-centred, but I think it's a good start to get back to writing, from my point of view, assessing my life. And, given that I haven't really done my stocktake for 2008 before getting into 2009, this feels good!)
Wait! This sounds really familiar! This isn't new, that happens to me all the time. I experienced that from my primary school days, secondary school, JC, especially college days, and even now. It's good to know that despite the changes in life, some things don't change!

Another thing that didn't change, or could I say changed for the better is my walk with God. While I know I haven't been as faithful as I can be, to read the Bible more often than once a week, to spend more time in prayer than just before I sleep or during meals, I have the inclination that I trust Him more with my life. Not that I don't worry anymore, or think that all will be good, but that I know God's gift of His son is so much MORE important and precious than anything else that I have a sense of calm no matter what happens, so long as I turn to Him. God has been good and provided my family and I with so much, one thing especially to give thanks for is my ability to provide for the family. Therefore, despite of all the financial difficulties within the family, nothing seems impossible because He's there, and He has provided.

Well, I'm getting restless again, so although I have loads on my mind to pen down, I'm going to leave it to the next post, hopefully soon. So, just some things which I want to do in the year 2009.

• Read the Bible and pray more regularly, so as to truly grow in my faith.
  
• Read more widely, especially books related to the economy, work, current affairs, etc.
• Spend more time serving and loving God, my family, my girlfriend and my friends.
• Greater discipline, by sleeping earlier, playing less computer games (yes, I'm playing loads still), working harder at work.

If I can do just these, in 2009, and throughout my life, that should be sufficient, more than sufficient.

Amen.